4 Common Sources of Conflict for Divorcing Spouses in Illinois

 Posted on October 23, 2019 in Divorce

When it comes to divorce in the family, no one is fully immune to its emotional effects. Even the most civil of interactions between divorcing spouses can be deceiving. What might seem at first to be a friendly, mutual agreement may actually be subtly rife with tension. Conflict can simmer, and it may surface over time as the divorce proceedings unfold. By nature, divorce is a very emotional event in one’s life, and it tends to stir up a myriad of feelings for both parties, especially as the experience begins to feel more real and moves closer to its final stages.

Common Triggers in High-Conflict Divorces

Conflict in divorce often stems from sensitive issues like money and child-rearing. These topics can be very touchy for everyone involved, even when both parties are working together to resolve the problems. Here are some of the most common sources of conflict for divorcing spouses:

1. Parenting time - Also referred to as visitation, parenting time is the amount of time each parent will spend with their child after the divorce. Any disagreement over quality time with children is usually a guaranteed trigger for conflict between spouses. Problems typically arise when the parties begin to discuss a proposed parenting plan, which specifies the parameters of visiting time for both parents.

2. Division of property - The division of property and other assets can be another area of disagreement during a divorce, especially when one party is under the assumption that he or she would acquire a particular asset, only to discover the other party desires the same asset. Expectations and sentiments can quickly change, as what was once a mutual understanding between partners may no longer apply by the time the union dissolves.

3. Spousal Maintenance - Also known as alimony, spousal maintenance is money paid by one spouse to the other in order to maintain the standard of living that each party was accustomed to during the marriage. Nothing has the power to send tempers flaring like arguments over money and how it should be spent, especially in light of separation, making the topic of spousal maintenance a fiercely contested area of dispute in divorce.

4. Child support - Disagreements over child support can be just as turbulent as those over spousal maintenance, and sometimes even more so, as funds for child support directly affect the whole family. The state of Illinois follows specific guidelines and calculations for how the amount of child support is determined, but divorcing spouses may still object to these arrangements, creating ongoing conflict between parties.

One of the best ways to combat any of these disputes is to consider mediation, a method of alternative conflict resolution that employs the help of a trained professional who acts as the go-between for both parties. A mediator is equipped with the skills to remain neutral and represent the concerns and rights of divorcing spouses in a civil, respectful manner. Bringing in a third party to address conflict can be an invaluable tool for those individuals who need to minimize the tension and as they negotiate the terms of their divorce.

Contact a Wheaton Divorce Attorney

People may start out intending to have an amicable divorce, but negotiations can break down quickly, and disputes can become difficult to resolve. If you and your spouse have managed to keep things friendly, but you are beginning to sense some conflict brewing, it is imperative to speak with a skilled DuPage County family law attorney right away, before the situation turns contentious. A. Traub & Associates will help protect your rights and work with you to negotiate a fair settlement on all marital issues. Call our office today at 630-426-0196 to schedule a consultation.

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anxiety-zen/201709/marriages-come-and-go-high-conflict-divorce-is-forever

https://www.aamft.org/Consumer_Updates/Managing_Conflict_During_Divorce.aspx