How to Agree to Disagree with Your Ex’s Parenting Style

 Posted on May 16, 2014 in Divorce

One of the biggest disagreements that can occur that parents have after a divorce is differences in parenting styles and boundaries. What’s acceptable at Mom’s house is forbidden at Dad’s – or visa-versa.

Issues such as bedtimes, appropriate television shows and the amount of television watched, video games and diet are just some of the areas where co-parents may disagree. There are ways to navigate frustrations that may crop up, which is especially important for the emotional well-being of the child. Remember to keep in mind that sometimes children play parents against each other in an effort to get the rules stretched. If your child says that they are allowed to do something at the other parent’s house that you don’t allow – for example staying up very late on a school night - check with the other parent to see if that activity is allowed on a regular basis or if it was just a one-time event. If you find out that there are things you disagree with that are allowed at the other parents house, don’t react angrily about it with your child. Calmly explain that the rules in your house are different. It’s important to accept that there are going to be things that you and your ex-spouse totally disagree on when it comes to raising your children, but remember that you both are committed to what’s best for your child. Differences in punishment can be particularly difficult to navigate, especially if one parent is stricter than the other. The use of corporal punishment by one parent can quickly escalate into a custody battle with the other parent citing child abuse. In Illinois, the law defines acts of child abuse when a parent or caregiver "inflicts excessive corporal punishment" but this law does not clearly define what constitutes "excessive." If you are concerned that the discipline techniques used by your ex-spouse on your child are harsh or excessive, contact an experienced Arlington Heights family law attorney today to find out what options you have to protect your child.