Avoiding Passive Aggressive Behavior can Help Your Marriage

 Posted on October 12, 2013 in Divorce

There are many kinds of abusive relationships.  The most obvious type of domestic abuse is violent behavior like hitting, kicking and yelling.  But there are other ways that a spouse’s behavior can be covertly abusive.  Passive aggressive spouses can be just as disruptive to a marriage as outwardly abusive spouses.

Passive aggressive behavior is used to avoid conflicts, suppress feelings of anger or try to control a situation.  It is covert because it can mask emotions and feelings to a point that the person’s behavior may seem nice at times.

Since passive aggressive behavior can be hidden, it is helpful to know what the typical traits are of a passive aggressive person.  Identifying the behavior is the first step to stopping the destructive cycle of hurtful actions and words.

Some typical forms of passive aggressive behavior include:

• Forgetfulness
• Procrastination
• Being ambiguous
• Using the silent treatment
• Finger pointing or blaming
• Victimization
• Gossiping

If your spouse engages you in these ways it is important to identify it as soon as possible.  That way you can take the high road and avoid the trap they have created for you.  For example, if you have asked your spouse to complete a task numerous times, and while they acknowledge your request, nothing gets done.  When you yell at them then they have received their desired result, you are expressing their anger but you look like the bad person.

Instead of blowing up at your partner you should try to confront the person about their behavior.  This will allow you to express how you feel about these issues before they become bigger problems.  It will also hold a mirror up to their actions and ask them to realize what they are doing toyou.  It may bring out overt anger but that is a step in learning how to express themselves and save your relationship.

If your relationship does not improve after this revelation, it might be time to consider other options.  No one should be stuck in an abusive relationship with their spouse, whether that is physical or emotional.  Contact an experienced family law attorney in Lombard today to talk about your next step.