Is Cold Feet a Sign of Future Divorce?

 Posted on July 15, 2014 in Divorce

Two separate studies have concluded that if a bride or groom develops "cold feet" before the wedding takes place, it could be a sign that there may not be a living happily ever after ahead.

During one of the studies, conducted by University of California, 232 newlywed couples were interviewed. In order to participate, all couples needed to meet the following criteria:

• The marriage is less than six months old;
• This is the first marriage for both spouses;
• Neither spouse has any children;
• Both spouses are over 18 years of age, but wives are younger than 35 years of age;
• Both couples have at least a 10th grade education.

Of the 464 people the study interviewed, 47 percent of the men and 38 percent of the women admitted to being uncertain about getting married before the wedding. The conclusion of the researchers was that marriages where at least one spouse had doubts had poorer staying power after four years. Marriages where the wife had expressed doubts had two and a half times higher the divorce rate.

A second study, conducted by researchers from the University of Alberta and Kansas State University, also concluded that those who had doubts before they married had less satisfying marriages. This study surveyed 610 newlywed couples and discovered that the more confident that people were about their partner choice, the more willing they were to make the commitment of investing time and energy into the relationship.

Many people who have wedding jitters right before the wedding tend to ignore them or think that once they are married, everything will be okay. If you are having doubts before the wedding, marriage counselors suggest you ask yourself the following questions:

• Is it only pre-wedding nerves that are affecting you or is it the relationship itself that is worrying you?
• Do you really know the person you are marrying or do you only see the person you want them to be?
• Are there issues regarding emotional or sexual intimacy that are troubling you?
• Do you have issues in your own life that you have yet to deal with?
• Are there issues regarding your parents’ marriage or divorce that are still unresolved for you?
• Why did you say yes to marriage? Was it out of fear of saying no?

Many people who have doubts before marriage go through with it anyway and find the marriage just isn’t working. If you are struggling in an unhappy marriage and are considering divorce, contact an experienced Arlington Heights family law attorney to find out what your options may be.