Third Time a Charm? Confronting the Challenges of Consecutive Marriages

 Posted on August 28, 2014 in Divorce

According to an article published by Psychology Today, second and third marriages often result in divorce. Past statistics support that while first marriages have a 50/50 chance of survival, second and third marriages often fail with rates of 67 to 73 percent, not providing much hope for eternal bliss.

The reasoning behind the statistics? Often, those entering a second marriage are "on the rebound," and those trying for the proverbial third time charm have failed to learn from past mistakes.

Cathy Meyer, a Certified Divorce Coach, Marriage Educator and contributor to About.com’s Divorce Support, a general online resource for divorce, provides further explanation of why these marriages fail.

Baggage

When someone divorces, they often carry over any type of insecurity responsible for the dissolution of their first marriage. For example, if your spouse cheated, trusting your new spouse may prove difficult. Low self-esteem and anger issues may also find their way into your new relationship.

Commitment Issues

For those entering subsequent marriages, the feeling of united bliss may dissipate quickly. Those noticing the first sign of trouble in paradise may contact a divorce attorney shortly after the first hint of discontent.

Consistent Failure

Starting a relationship and considering marriage with one who admits they have been  "unlucky in love" may not be the one to secure your marital future. Ms. Meyer stated that some people are forever a victim of circumstance and find themselves searching for love marriage after marriage, not ever succeeding.

Rushing into Marriage

For the majority of divorced men, this is a trait. Men who can not phantom living life without a wife often jump feet first into a second or third marriage. Ideally, this is not reason to remarry. On the other hand, women tend to remarry too quickly because they desire financial security, which is another weak reason to say "I do."

Blending Families

Not only is it a monumental decision to remarry, but becoming a stepparent and facing the challenges it may bring often adds additional stress to any new relationship. Some people are just not up to the challenge, and the children involved may not be interested in accepting this new relationship, causing discontent among all involved.

If you have recently divorced and are thinking about remarrying, perhaps it would be in your best interest to take a breather and contemplate why you may be rushing to make this decision. Not only will you get to know your intended a bit better, but you may find that you have the opportunity to learn a bit more about yourself.