Five Tips for Creating an Illinois Parenting Plan When You Cannot Agree 

 Posted on December 20, 2021 in Family Law Blog

Many divorcing parents feel as though creating a parenting plan is inevitably a win/lose situation. If one parent does not get to spend time with their children, it is because their [insulting adjective] ex is with them instead. Depending on how someone feels about their ex, this can be an inconvenient or irritating fact or a complete disaster.

However, even when divorced parents dislike each other strongly and find it difficult to get along, they still have to deal with each other and their children still have to deal with the consequences of their relationship. Finding an appropriate balance is crucial for creating a parenting plan, yet this can be the hardest thing in the world during a contentious divorce. If you are struggling to cooperate with your spouse about a parenting plan, here are five tips that may be helpful.

Strive to Understand Your Child’s Best Interests

Sometimes warring spouses may find it easier to cooperate when they shift the focus from each other to their child. Ultimately, a child did not choose her parents’ relationship and it is not her fault that she is stuck in the middle of a divorce. It is her needs that should be met first.

Try to Make a Schedule that Makes Sense

One parent may be determined to get as much time with their child as possible, but this often simply does not make sense. Although it might feel good initially to hurt an ex by depriving them of access to their child, what happens when one parent needs to work late, wants to go out with friends, or simply needs a break? Parenting is not easy, and single parenting is even harder.

Plan for Communication

Many parents struggle to communicate, and this can get harder when children moving back and forth between homes have problems. Decide now when and how you will communicate with your co-parent in the future; many experts suggest having a separate email address where nothing but issues related to the children are discussed and all correspondence is documented.

Compromise with Parental Responsibilities

If one parent cares deeply about religion, perhaps it is best to allow that parent the freedom to guide a child’s involvement in religion. In turn, a parent who might be more interested in making sure their child can play an instrument and participate in group sports can handle that area.

Set Mutual Goals and Maintain Them

Most co-parents can agree that they want certain things for their children: An education fund, good grades, and any kind of professional support a child needs to overcome challenges are just a few examples of issues parents can work on together. Keep in mind that your child will remember this time and how each parent acted towards the other; by putting your child’s needs first, you will help them have a good relationship with both parents for many years to come.

Get Help From a DuPage County Parenting Plan Lawyer

At A. Traub & Associates, we understand how frustrating and difficult it can be to try to create a parenting agreement with an uncooperative spouse. We will help you get creative to resolve tough problems and do our best to help you avoid unnecessary conflict. Schedule a confidential consultation with an experienced Wheaton, IL family law attorney by calling our offices today at 630-426-0196.

Sources:

https://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs4.asp?DocName=075000050HPt%2E+V&ActID=2086&ChapterID=59&SeqStart=6200000&SeqEnd=8675000

https://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs4.asp?DocName=075000050HPt%2E+VI&ActID=2086&ChapterID=59&SeqStart=8675000&SeqEnd=12200000

https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/blog/creating-perfect-parenting-plan-6-steps