The Growing Problem of Financial Infidelity

 Posted on April 15, 2016 in Divorce

Have you ever cheated on your spouse? Before you answer, keep in mind that cheating can mean much more than an episode of sexual indiscretion. In fact, there is another type of cheating that is far more prevalent in today’s marriages, and it has virtually nothing to do with adultery; it pertains, instead, to a couple’s finances. According to a recent survey, more than 40 percent of Americans have committed what is known as financial infidelity against their partner. With money already a commonly-cited contributor to the breakdown of marriages, financial infidelity, if not addressed and resolved, can quickly lead a couple down a path toward divorce.

What is Financial Infidelity?

Although it may take many forms, the basic idea of financial infidelity is relatively simple: one partner in a relationship with combined finances lies about or hides money and purchases. It could be an interest-bearing account set up in his name that she has no idea exists, or it could be a credit card that she has on the side. Whatever the case, if both partners are not fully disclosing financial concerns—within previously agreed-upon parameters—one or both may be committing financial infidelity.

Preventing Deceitful Spending

It can be very hurtful to find out that your partner has been keeping financial secrets. There are, however, some things you can do to prevent that from happening. They require addressing family economics head-on, which can be uncomfortable, but ultimately healthier for your relationship. You and your partner should consider:

• Make it about "us" not "you" or "me." Work together to set financial goals and objectives for your future. Each of you could also propose rules for communicating about money, debts, and purchases;
• Support one another. Encourage healthy behavior by being willing to admit your own struggles. Acknowledge when your partner makes a sacrifice to remain compliant with your joint plan.
• Have some "play money." It is unreasonable to expect you or your partner to carefully account for every single dime. Set a small amount aside each month for each of you to spend as you please with no questions or comments from the other person.
• Be understanding and forgiving. Agree in advance on how you will handle little mistakes along the way. If your partner knows that you will not explode about a relatively minor spending indiscretion, he or she is less likely to start a new pattern of financial infidelity.

Recovering from financial infidelity often proves impossible for many couples and their only recourse is to end the marriage. If your marriage is in jeopardy due to dishonesty about money, contact an experienced divorce attorney in Lombard. The compassionate team at A. Traub & Associates is ready to help you seek a more positive future and to find the happiness and security you deserve. Schedule your confidential consultation today.

Sources:

http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2016/04/08/are-cheating-on-your-spouse-what-need-to-know-about-financial-infidelity.html

http://www.thestreet.com/story/13516024/1/financial-infidelity-is-a-worse-problem-than-you-realize.html