Helping Your Children Cope With Divorce

 Posted on February 17, 2017 in Divorce

The aftermath of a divorce is often the most difficult for the children involved in the process. Children of divorced parents tend to face extreme emotional conflict and upheaval. It is, therefore, imperative for parents to ensure that their children feel loved, supported, and heard. There are four key strategies to keep in mind when trying to help a child understand and navigate divorce.

Discuss Divorce Appropriately

Children need to feel included when major changes impact the family; it is completely unfair and counterproductive to keep them in the dark. If divorce is looming, it should be discussed with the children as soon as possible. Ideally, you will be able to find a quiet, familiar place where everyone can sit down and talk. Children do not need to know all the details involved with the pending divorce. However, they do need to know the basic facts of the situation and these facts should be presented to them in an age-appropriate manner.

Avoid Putting Children in the Middle

It is important for children to feel secure throughout a divorce. This is impossible if either parent tries to buy their children’s affection or use the children as spies or weapons against the other spouse. Children may naturally gravitate toward one parent over the other during a divorce, but this is often an indication of comfort rather than a rejection of the other parent. Never try to make the children feel guilty for this. Children must know that both parents love them and want the best for them.

Keep Routines as Normal as Possible

Divorce brings major changes. Parents are often busy meeting with lawyers, going to court hearings, and negotiating the nuances of the proceedings. The best way to help children cope is to keep their routines as normal as you possible. School schedules and extracurricular activities should all continue in the same way as they did prior to the divorce so that the children enjoy stability.

Allow Children Opportunities to Discuss Their Feelings

Children may or may not want to discuss how they feel about the divorce. Parents should allow their children freedom to express themselves and should encourage positive expression. There are many ways for a child to channel their feelings constructively. Common options include painting, writing, composing, or just calm discussion. If a child does respond with inappropriate emotions, parents should not berate them but promote healthier expressions of emotion.

We Are a Resource for Illinois Families

The right lawyer can make all the difference when it comes to a successful divorce. Our firm employs skilled and compassionate lawyers who will assist and support you and your children throughout the entire divorce process. Our goal is to make this transition as stress-free as possible for your family. Please contact an experienced Lombard family law attorney at A. Traub & Associates for more information today.

Sources:

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/family-divorce/children-and-divorce.htm

http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/help-child-divorce.html