Helping Your Children Manage a Divorce

 Posted on March 21, 2017 in Children of Divorce

A divorce, as most people realize, can be extremely stressful for everyone involved. Children commonly have the most difficulty adjusting to all of the changes. Unfortunately, the effects of a divorce may be felt by your child for many years after the process has been completed. There are several ways—including some things you can do right now—to help your child cope with the end of your marriage.

Listen to Their Problems and Worries

Children, just like adults, feel loved and cared for when they know you are listening to them. This is more than just hearing what they have to say. Listening requires you to both be active in showing you understand what they are worried about while withholding any judgments or solutions until after the child is done sharing. Even then, it important to allow your children the freedom to experience their feelings. Attempting to control your child’s emotions or shaming him or her for feeling a certain way is not healthy and can lead to larger problems down the road.

Find Someone to Talk With About Your Divorce

You may feel like you are doing well, but a divorce can wear you down, and it can become tempting to vent to your children. This type of talk, however, can easily confuse children, make them feel anxious, and damage their relationship with the other parent. Find a friend or a counselor to talk about your feelings and frustrations with when your children are not around. This will give you more patience with your children and can help you manage your stress levels.

Cooperate With the Other Parent

The best thing divorcing parents can do for their children is to cooperate as much as possible regarding all aspects of parenting. In practice, this means being flexible and keeping communication lines open when it comes to the children. If speaking to your spouse is too stressful, use email or texts messages, but find a way to communicate. You may be getting a divorce, but the two of you will always be the parents of your children. Children tend to do better during and after a divorce when their parents cooperate on parenting issues.

Be Happy When They Spend Time With the Other Parent

Part of your job as a parent is to make sure your children continue to have a healthy relationship with the other parent. If your child hears you say you are lonely when they are gone or sense that their spending time with the other parent bothers you, it can create unnecessary stress for your child and lead to bigger mental and emotional concerns. Your child may even feel like he or she is being forced to choose between you and the other parent.

Develop a Workable Parenting Plan

If you are considering a divorce and have questions about creating a parenting plan that best fits your unique situation, contact an experienced Lombard family law attorney. At A. Traub & Associates, we are dedicated to helping clients find parenting solutions that protect the best interests of the entire family. Call 630-426-0196 for a confidential consultation today.

Source:

http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs4.asp?ActID=2086&ChapterID=59&SeqStart=8300000&SeqEnd=10000000