Helping Your Teen Deal with Your Divorce

 Posted on June 23, 2015 in Children of Divorce

Divorce is not an easy situation for anyone involved, especially children. For young children, it is easy to dismiss the challenges they may be facing based on the generally accepted maxim that kids are flexible and will adapt to the new situation. While there may be some degree of truth to that idea, children are often more impacted by divorce than their parents may realize. Teenagers, as well, are frequently affected strongly by the divorce of their parents, and there are some things to keep in mind as you try to help your adolescent make sense of the situation.

Let Your Teen Have Feelings

In some ways, divorce is similar to the death of a loved one, and coming to terms with it is often an extended process. Just as you likely are experiencing a wide range of often conflicting emotions, your teen is too. He or she may not understand exactly how to handle such feelings, but should not be made to feel guilty for how he or she feels. Allow your child the space he or she needs, and, conversely, do your best be available when comfort is needed.

Limit Acting Out

There is no question that your teen will experience unfamiliar levels of anger and frustration when dealing with divorce. It is important for him or her to realize, however, that emotional turbulence is not a good excuse for bad behavior. Set ground rules and enforce them with compassion, allowing your teen to realize that, despite his or her anger, certain expectations still apply. Not only will this help benefit the immediate family situation, but it also is a life lesson your teen can take into adulthood.

Do Not Lie or Disparage

Understand that your teen’s view on romantic relationships and commitment may be strongly affected by your divorce, and you should be honest regarding certain aspects of the divorce. Remember, though, that he or she is still a child and is not equipped to play amateur psychologist to his or her parent. Do not expose your teen, if at all possible, to the nastier side of divorce, and avoid being negative about your ex at all costs.

Your Teen Deserves Both Parents

Just because you no longer like your ex-spouse, your child should not feel obligated to hate him or her too. While he or she may not have full control, your teen is entitled to input regarding time spent with both parents, and when you respect well-reasoned opinions, it can help your child feel important during the process. Do your best, however, to promote your child’s connection with the other parent regardless of your own feelings. A teen girl can be especially impacted by a poor relationship with her father, which can lead to serious trust issues that last a lifetime.

If you are considering divorce, you deserve representation from a lawyer who understands the effects the process can have on a family. Contact an experienced Lombard family law attorney at A. Traub & Associates today to schedule a consultation. We will review your situation and work with you in protecting your family’s interests, both now and in the future.