How to Date a Divorcee

 Posted on February 05, 2013 in Divorce

With divorce rates as high as ever in the US, the probability that you will be dating someone who has had a previous marriage is high. Relationship experts don’t see the problem with dating someone who has been divorced, but it does depend on the circumstances, according to a Chicago Tribune article. If you are only casually dating someone who has had several divorces than there should be no problem, according to Holly Parker, a professor at Harvard University. But if you are looking to be in a committed relationship than you should think more about your decision, she says.

First, she says you should consider why has this person been married three to four times. There might be some personality traits and emotional health issues that are causing the person to have more than three failed marriages. However, a New York psychiatrist, Gail Saltz, who specializes in relationships issues says, "There is no one size fits all answer, because people get married and divorced for many different reasons." But she even agrees that you should find out how their previous marriages ended and what the person learned about themselves from each of these marriages. Also, ask what they feel about future marriages, and what their relationship with their ex or exes are like.

It is important to know how the once-divorced person understands what went wrong in their previous relationships, and whether or not they discovered what the problem was. It is also normal for a person twice-divorced to say that there are issues that are not understood or resolved. But for someone who has been divorced three or four times, it is likely that they have problems choosing someone or maintaining a long-term relationship, according to Saltz. However, just because a person is a divorcee does not mean you should overlook them, it is important to understand what happened in their previous marriages to be able to move forward.

If you&re about to remarry and you are interested in a prenuptial agreement (it&s smart to have one), your family law attorney in Illinois can help. If you and your spouse are looking to file for divorce or need help during the tough times of divorce, be sure to contact an Illinois divorce attorney. A.Traub & Associates have two different offices that you can contact in the Illinois area. Give them a call today.