"Life is Short" but He May Be Telling the Truth

 Posted on August 27, 2015 in Divorce

Headlines around the world are ablaze with news of a data dump including the hacked information of some 37 million people. The accounts are associated with subscribers of Ashley Madison, a website that advertises itself as a forum to connect married users looking to have an affair. Email addresses found among the hacked data have been linked to TV personalities, politicians, and military personnel, along with countless private citizens. The exposition of Ashely Madison’s subscriber lists has forced many couples into unexpectedly dealing with allegations of infidelity, and probably have some already considering divorce. Before making any rash decisions, it is important to realize that your spouse may not be lying about his behavior.

Look But Don’t Touch

If you recently discovered that your spouse was registered on an infidelity-driven website, your first inclination was probably to feel completely betrayed. Such a reaction is completely understandable, but before taking action, you need to get the whole story. Of course, at this point, you will probably find it difficult to trust what your spouse is saying, but, if this is the first indication that something may be wrong, you should probably give him the opportunity.

Men and women, in general, tend to have different views as to what constitutes cheating. Even within the genders, individual perspectives vary greatly. For some, as distasteful it may seem to a partner, browsing a cheating site is not very different from sitting in a bar looking at attractive people or watching adult movies. Actively engaging in an affair, obviously, is generally a different story.

Differing views on fidelity can create complexities in a relationship, so it is important to know what truly happened: did he actually cheat on you by both of your definitions of the word or did he push the boundaries of acceptable behavior? The latter can often be resolved through marital counseling, while the former can lead to the end of the marriage.

Other Possible Explanations

As online security experts continue to investigate the hack, some are suggesting that not all of the leaked accounts were legitimate. In an effort to boost marketing and inflate numbers—and therefore, increase "possible matches"—Ashley Madison may have purchased bulk lists of email addresses. The owners of these purchased email addresses could be caught up in a mess with which they literally had nothing to do. The company has been accused of creating fake profiles in the past, and could face potential legal action from leak victims who claim no affiliation with the site. Thus, if your spouse claims he never signed up, it is plausible that he is telling the truth.

Whether infidelity has ruined your marriage, or, you have otherwise decided that ending your marriage is in your best interest, contact an experienced Kane County family law attorney. The compassionate team at A. Traub & Associates is ready to help you through the divorce process no matter what complications you may be facing. Call us today for a confidential consultation and get the legal help you need during a difficult time.