Signs of an Abuser

 Posted on April 05, 2013 in Divorce

When couples hit problems in a relationship, many times they try to work through them before they make the decision to divorce. However, for a spouse that is in an abusive relationship, staying in the marriage can be dangerous. Whether it’s physical, emotional, mental or financial, everyone should know the warning signs of abuse.

• Physical violence is one way abuser’s use to control their spouse. Typically, they will strike their victim on parts of the body that can be covered up with clothing. 
• Threats are another way abusers use to control and intimidate their victims. Threatening to harm the victim, the children, pets, family members or friends. Or threatening to withhold money or other resources. 
• Extreme jealousy is a sign of insecurity and lack of trust, but an abuser will say it’s proof of their love. Accusations of flirting, or even infidelity, all unfounded, are used as an excuse for physical or emotional violence.
• Controlling behavior is another form of abuse. The abuser makes all the decisions, from the most important to the mundane. The abuser also checks up on everything the victim does, such as phone calls, emails, text messages, etc. Some abusers even check odometers of the victims’ cars to make sure they are only driving where they are allowed to. 
• Emotional abuse takes on the form of insults and name-calling. The abuser does this to lower the victim’s self-esteem, making it that much easier for the abuser to maintain control.

If you have been a victim of spousal abuse and are considering a divorce, take the steps to protect yourself. Consult with an experienced Illinois divorce attorney who can help you take the steps to get out of a bad and dangerous marriage.