The Unexpected Positive Effects of Divorce on Children

 Posted on February 15, 2018 in Divorce

Parents who get divorced almost always share the same top concern: how will the divorce affect their children? Divorce is a deeply stressful even for children of all ages to go through. They are losing the only reality they have ever been familiar with and plunging into the unknown. However, there are also many benefits to children when their parents’ divorce, some of which may surprise you.

Decrease in Household Tension May Come as a Relief to Children

Researchers from UCLA looked at 47 studies that connected children’s experiences in tension-filled home environments to later problems in adulthood. The researchers found what many would suspect: Children that experience high levels of conflict at home had more physical, emotional, and social issues later in life compared to control groups. As adults, those who grew up in homes with intense arguments or feuding parents, were more likely to report vascular and immune problems, depression, substance abuse and addiction, loneliness, and problems with intimacy that those who did not grow up in high-conflict households. Research also shows that it is not only households with a lot of overt aggression or yelling that cause these issues for children. Stonewalling or a parent giving the other the “silent treatment” were also destructive actions with regard to children’s long-term mental health.

One-on-One Attention

Another benefit of raising children as divorced co-parents is that children have an opportunity to spend time with their parents individually. This allows the child to create a special bond with that parent that he or she may not have otherwise. Some families find that sharing custody of their children also gives them more quality time together. For example, a parent who only has parenting time 3 nights a week will often find special activities to do with that child during the times he or she has the child. Parents who share custody are able to change their work and social schedules to give children more one-on-one attention in a way that married parents cannot. Experts say that it is this type of quality parent-child interaction that most benefits the child long term.

Considering Divorce?

Unfortunately, there is no getting around the fact that breaking the news of divorce to children will upset them. It is natural for children to be emotional during and after a divorce. However, the majority of children of divorce grow up to be happy, healthy adults. If you are considering divorcing your spouse, speak to the experienced Lombard family law attorneys at A. Traub & Associates for assistance. Call 630-426-0196 to schedule a confidential appointment today.