Can My Child Choose Which Parent to Live With in Illinois?

 Posted on April 22, 2025 in Family Law

In Illinois, child custody decisions are guided by one primary principle: the best interests of the child. Many parents going through a divorce or separation wonder whether their child can choose which parent to live with. While the child's preferences may be considered by the court, they are not the deciding factor.

Understanding how Illinois courts weigh a child’s wishes can help parents better prepare for the custody process. A qualified Illinois family law attorney with experience helping children and parents navigate these decisions can explain more about the type of custody arrangement your family might benefit from. 

How Do Courts Consider a Child’s Preference?

Illinois law no longer uses the terms "custody" and "visitation." Instead, it refers to "parental responsibilities" and "parenting time." As part of this broader shift, the law considers several factors when deciding how parental responsibilities are divided among parents. These include the child's needs, each parent’s ability to meet those needs, and yes—sometimes—the child’s own preferences.

The court can take a child’s wishes into account when the child is mature enough to express a reasoned and independent preference. However, the law does not set a specific age for this. There is no time when a child’s opinion automatically carries legal weight. It is very subjective and depends on each individual child and each individual case.

In practice, judges often consider the wishes of older children, such as teenagers, more seriously. A younger child’s preferences can still be voiced and heard, but they are typically weighed alongside other more objective factors.

How Do Courts Evaluate Child Maturity and Independence?

It is not enough for a child to say they would rather live with one parent. The court will consider why the child feels that way. If the choice is based on who has fewer rules or allows more freedom, the judge might see this as an immature or influenced decision. On the other hand, if the child has logical, emotionally grounded reasons—such as stability, comfort, or feeling more loved and supported—then the court is likely to give those preferences more weight.

Judges typically avoid placing children directly on the stand because that can be a source of emotional stress. Sometimes, a court appoints a child representative or guardian ad litem (GAL) to speak with the child and present their views in court. 

Contact a Lombard, IL Child Custody Lawyer

If you are involved in a child custody case in Illinois and your child has expressed a preference about where they want to live, you do not have to navigate this alone. An experienced DuPage County, IL family law attorney can help you understand your rights, present your case clearly, and protect your child’s best interests. Your family’s future is too important to leave to chance. Call A. Traub & Associates at 630-426-0196 today to schedule a consultation and take the next step toward protecting your relationship with your child.