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What to do After Separation but Prior to Divorce
For many couples, separating is the first step to divorcing. In fact, Illinois law requires a separation period of no less than six months for a no-fault divorce. Separating gives the couple time to work out their issues without the pressure of having to comply with the court&s deadlines or having to pay for lawyer meetings, hearings, and other divorce-related fees. During the separation period, couples can save money and stress by working together to develop a plan before officially filing for their divorce.
There are a few steps that a couple should take after separating that can make their divorce quicker and easier. A quick divorce is almost always less expensive than a long, drawn-out divorce. If you are currently separated from your spouse, some of the following may help you more efficiently end your marriage.
Prepare the Necessary Documents
During the divorce process, you and your spouse will have to divide your assets. In Illinois, assets are divided according to the equitable distribution principle, which means that rather than splitting your assets 50/50, the court will award them according to each partner&s needs and contributions. Have the following documents ready for your attorney and the court:
Parental Communication in Custody and Visitation Arrangements
If you are subject to child custody or visitation order, you have undoubtedly faced challenges related to dealing with the other parent. They may have been minor issues, if you are lucky, or they may be larger problems, including a complete lack of consistency on the part of the non-custodial parent. You may feel obligated to continue to push the other parent to comply with the arrangements you have in place, but it is important for you to realize where your responsibility to do so ends.
Moral Obligations
Like any responsible parent, you want what is best for your child. Studies continue to show that active participation of both parents in a child’s life can lead to a more positive outcome for the child, regardless of the parents’ marital status. It is totally understandable that you would want your child to have every possible opportunity to grow up healthy and well-adjusted, even if it means continuing to encourage the other parent to uphold their responsibilities. If he or she continues to act with inconsistency, you may wish to consult a pediatric health professional to help you understand where you should draw the line with the other parent.
Filing for Divorce: Does it Matter Who Files First?
In many cases, it is often clear that a marriage is over long before a petition for divorce has been filed. You may have come to that realization regarding your own relationship. However, filing for divorce may seem to be a drastic step and one that you may be hesitant to take, regardless of the condition of the marriage. Should you file first? Should you wait for your spouse? Does it really make a difference?
Depending on the specific circumstances of your situation, filing first will probably not make much of a difference in the outcome of your divorce. Your role during the process may change slightly based upon your status as the petitioner or the respondent, but the end result is likely to be effectually the same. You will have the same opportunities to present information to the court, in most cases, the factors considered under law make no reference to a party’s filing status.
Possible Exceptions
Prenuptial Agreements: Share the Love and Protect the Future
When you make the decision to marry someone and share your life with him or her, the romantic love that you feel is often intoxicating. Your idealistic vision of the future make take over, and, as the wedding day gets closer, it may not even occur to you that you are entering into a business partnership as well as a romantic union. Throughout history, however, marriage has been an arrangement of shared property, while the romantic aspect of marriage has really only evolved relatively recently. Modern marriage, as combination of social contract and romantic love has led to the increased utilization of prenuptial agreements to protect the financial interests of each spouse.
For many, the concept of a prenuptial agreement is closely tied to a prediction of failure, as such agreements necessarily consider the possibility of divorce. This is often seen to be in direct contrast to the idea of marrying for love and living "happily ever after." As such, couples frequently struggle with the dilemma of making practical, yet seemingly cold preventive arrangements, or relying on love and trusting that things will be fine.
Denial of Paternity in Illinois
Unlike decades ago, when most children were born into the "traditional" family – where the biological mother and father were married – in today’s society, there are a variety of different familial scenarios into which a child may be born. As such, there is great deal of information available when it comes to legally establishing paternity for a child, both from a mother’s point of view and from a father’s point of view. One topic that is not commonly discussed is how a may legally deny paternity.
The law in Illinois regarding paternity is an interesting one, as it must account for a number of potential situations. If a woman is not married to the child’s father when she conceives or gives birth, then there are certain steps the parents must take in order to legally establish paternity of the child. Under the law, there are three acceptable ways to establish paternity:
Helping Your Teen Deal with Your Divorce
Divorce is not an easy situation for anyone involved, especially children. For young children, it is easy to dismiss the challenges they may be facing based on the generally accepted maxim that kids are flexible and will adapt to the new situation. While there may be some degree of truth to that idea, children are often more impacted by divorce than their parents may realize. Teenagers, as well, are frequently affected strongly by the divorce of their parents, and there are some things to keep in mind as you try to help your adolescent make sense of the situation.
Let Your Teen Have Feelings
In some ways, divorce is similar to the death of a loved one, and coming to terms with it is often an extended process. Just as you likely are experiencing a wide range of often conflicting emotions, your teen is too. He or she may not understand exactly how to handle such feelings, but should not be made to feel guilty for how he or she feels. Allow your child the space he or she needs, and, conversely, do your best be available when comfort is needed.
He Stopped Following Our Divorce Agreement
Like many divorced individuals, you have probably worked very hard to rebuild your life after divorce. You have made sacrifices for your children, possibly moved into a smaller home, and maybe even changed your entire lifestyle. In addition to doing what needed to be done for yourself and your family, you also recognize that your divorce agreement spelled out certain responsibilities for which you were responsible. You have done your part, but now it seems obvious that your ex-spouse is no longer living up to his responsibilities under the terms of your agreement. So now what?
Divorce, under the best of circumstances, is never easy. It is, however, a civil proceeding, the results of which are legally binding. This means that your divorce agreement amounts to court order mandating that each of the outlined requirements must continue to be met. In the event that you or your ex-spouse fail to meet your obligations, whether in regard to spousal support, child issues, or any other related matter, legal action may be appropriate. There are some things you may consider doing, however, before going back to court:
Am I Entitled to Visitation as a Grandparent?
If you are like most grandparents, spending time with your grandchildren is among the greatest joys in life. You, no doubt, look forward to having them come over or interacting with them at family gatherings, just as they eagerly anticipate getting to see you. In some family situations, however, things are often much more difficult, as a failing relationship between the parents may create challenges for fostering such a special bond. Grandparents in cases such as these may have no other option than to petition the court for visitation privileges.
Rights vs. Privileges
Under Illinois law, a parent who is not granted custody of his or her child maintains the right to reasonable visitation. These rights can only be restricted by an action of the court, and may only be done for cause. Visitation for all other family members is considered a privilege, and is not assumed by law in any way.
Do My Child’s Wishes Matter in a Custody Case?
For an unfortunately large number of divorcing or separating parents, battles over child custody become very contentious. Emotional turbulence and bitterness can cause parents to lose sight of their child’s best interest, while each parent tries to "win" against the other. Other parents, however, have a truly difficult time in determining what exactly lies in the best interest of the child, even without acrimony and hostility between them. If you are in such a situation, you may know what you want for your child, but what about his or her desires? Will the court give consideration to the wishes of a child?
The short answer to the latter question is yes. The court does, in fact, consider the wishes of the child when making a determination for child custody. Illinois law requires a court to do so, but only as a part of the overall decision-making process. The child’s wishes are not sacrosanct, and the court may find that child’s desires would not actually serve his or her best interest, but they will be taken into account.
Division of Property Continued: Equitable Distribution
For a large number of divorcing couples, property division is among the most challenging aspects of the entire divorce process. Of course, much of the difficulty depends on how long a couple was married and how much property they accumulated during the marriage. Couples with few or no assets of significant value may be able reach an agreement rather easily, while couples with more complex concerns may end up having to finalize their arrangement through court proceedings. When the court gets involved, the division of property in divorce is governed by the state’s equitable distribution guidelines.
Determining and Valuating the Marital Estate
Prior to the application of equitable distribution principles, the court and the couple must establish what is to be considered marital property. A previous post covered marital and non-marital assets in greater detail, but, in short, marital property is any property acquired by either spouse during the marriage, with certain exceptions for assets such as gifts or inheritances.
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