Recent Blog Posts
The Breakdown of Communication Does Not Necessarily Dominate Divorce
Numerous studies confirm that the primary contributing factor of divorce is the breakdown of communication. The Huffington Post recently posted the results of yet another study confirming that communication is essential for a successful marriage. The online lifestyle resource, Your Tango, recently polled 100 medical health professionals who in agreement, at 65 percent, still cite the lack of communication as the major contributor to divorce.
Dr. Kelly M. Flanagan, an Illinois licensed psychologist and contributor to The Huffington Post, begs to differ. Dr. Flanagan contributes the following additional factors as possible contributors responsible for the high rate of divorce.
We Like, Therefore We Think We Love
Study: Wedding Sticker Shock May Contribute to America’s Alarming Divorce Rate
Emory University of Atlanta has long held esteem as one of the nation’s premier liberal arts institutions, as well as a global leader in cutting-edge research. One of the most recent research studies released by Emory encapsulates the conception and probability of divorce among American couples. The study, titled "A Diamond is Forever and Other Fairy Tales: The Relationship Between Wedding Expenses and Marriage Duration," concluded that the combined exorbitant expenses of an engagement ring and wedding preparation may determine the duration of the all-American marriage.
Of the 3,000 adults polled, it was discovered that men who set a limit between $2,000 to $4,000 for an engagement ring were 1.3 times more likely to consult with an experienced divorce attorney at some point in the marriage. Those who opted for a $500 to $2,000 price point remained in the marriage. Those who had a lower budget for engagement rings ranging from $0 to up to $500 also faced a higher instance of divorce.
Protecting Yourself Against Financial Threats in Divorce
When a couple is going through the divorce process, emotions are usually more intense for both the husband and wife. Even the slightest remark or action by one spouse can seem amplified to the other, causing a strong reaction.
Often, anger becomes the driving force and all kinds of threats are made. This can be especially true if one spouse was the predominant breadwinner in the family and feels they have the upper hand in divorce negotiations. Threats of taking away the children or leaving the other spouse broke and homeless are common themes in acrimonious divorces. And whether or not the spouse making the threats could actually follow through with them does not always matter. Threats like these can leave the other spouse feeling stressed out and intimidated, or even frightened.
There are steps that a financially threatened spouse should take to ensure that they are protected emotionally and financially. These steps include:
Equitable Property Division in Illinois Divorce
Illinois, like the majority of states in this country, is not a community property state when it comes to dividing up the marital estate during a divorce. Instead, the decision is based on "equitable distribution" of a couple’s assets. Equitable distribution does not mean assets are split in half, with each spouse receiving 50 percent. Instead, it is the court who decides what an equitable and fair division is.
In some cases, spouses are able to negotiate an agreement between themselves, or with the help of their attorneys, and the judge’s signature is a formality needed to make the agreement legal. In many other cases, however, a judge is the one who makes the decision of what is an equitable distribution based on the evidence each spouse introduces into trial.
There are several factors a judge will consider when making his or her decision. These factors include:
Declining Illinois Unemployment Numbers: Promising News for Marriages
There is encouraging news for Illinois as the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) and the Illinois Department of Employment Security (IDES) confirmed that the Illinois unemployment rate fell again in August, marking a decline for the fifth consecutive month. Not only is this encouraging news for Illinois, but perhaps even better news for men in the Prairie State. Recently, researchers at Ohio State University published survey results regarding the instance of marital strife due to the unemployment status of married men and the slim prospects for the unemployed single man seeking a marital partner.
Lead researcher Liana Sayer, a professor of Sociology at Ohio State University, worked in collaboration with the National Survey of Families and Households (NSFH). Sayer and her team followed over 3,600 couples from 1986 to 2003. By using a series of questions, the group gauged how the couples felt about their marriages in general and then further collected data regarding employment and current earnings. Their goal was to determine if financial uncertainty would lead to divorce.
The Benefits of Divorce
Making the decision to divorce can be one of the hardest decisions a person has to make. A couple at this crossroads has usually struggled for years trying to make their marriage work. It can be even more heartbreaking if there are children involved.
The aftermath of divorce can feel as if a death has occurred. In a way it has – the death of the marriage. This can leave a person dealing with all kinds of emotions, ranging from grief to sadness to anger. But there is also, many times, relief felt that the person can move forward.
In fact, research has shown that for women, once they move past the grieving stage, they are actually much happier for at least the five years following their divorce, often more content than they had ever been in their lives.
Another benefit to being divorce is to a person’s health. Studies show that being in an unhappy marriage can have serious side-effects to your health. All the tension and conflict can leave a person with increased risks for cancer, heart disease, depression, arthritis and diabetes.
Research: Divorce May Lead to Depressive Episodes
As per the National Institute of Mental Health (NIH), a leading organization dedicated to clinical research, treatment, and cure of mental health disorders, at least 6.9 percent of Americans, as of 2012, have endured a major depressive episode within a 12 month period.
It may not be completely clear as to why depressive episodes present, but research conducted by the renowned Mayo Clinic may shed some light as to why some people are prone to major depressive episodes. Research found some reasons individuals may be more prone to depression include:
- Biological changes,
- Brain chemistry alternation,
- Increase or decrease of hormonal balance,
- Inherited traits, and
- Traumatic life event.
Recently, the Association for Psychological Science released the findings of a new study, published in Clinical Psychological Science. Findings support that although divorce can significantly increase the risk of a depressive episode for some, others seem to bounce back quickly with little to no long-term symptoms or recurrence of depression.
Divorce or Dissolution of Marriage: Illinois Linguistics of Filing for Divorce
Planning on petitioning for a divorce or dissolution of marriage depends on which state you call home. If you are an Illinois resident consulting with a qualified divorce attorney under the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (750 ILCS 5) the proper terminology is the dissolution of marriage.
For Illinois and fellow dissolution states, the view on marriage is a legal contract between two people, and filing for divorce is the act of legally requesting the dissolution of a contractual agreement.
Since divorce procedural law is not governed at the federal level, individual state law requirements are enacted and expected to be strictly followed. After consulting with your Illinois divorce attorney, you will become well-versed in Illinois dissolution law as it pertains to your personal situation. Discussions involving the discovery and division of marital assets, continual maintenance (alimony), child support and visitation will be addressed as you move through the dissolution process.
Tips for Getting Along with a Co-Parent
When getting divorced from your spouse, you may be relieved, thinking, "Thank goodness I will never have to deal with this person again!" This is especially true if you were involved in a high-conflict marriage. However, if you and your spouse have children together, you will always have to interact with each other on some level. Beyond childhood and adolescence are college graduations, weddings and grandchildren.
Making the decision now to resolve to calmly deal with your spouse will not only make it emotionally easier for you, but more importantly, will go a long way in helping your children adjust to the divorce. Co-parenting together in agreement and without conflict offers children a more stable and happier life.
Following the 10 Commandments of co-parenting could help you and your ex-spouse reach co-parenting peace:
- Never put your child in the middle of conflicts between you and your ex-spouse. Remember to put your child’s need first, even if that means a compromise on your part. If you do have an issue with the other parent, try to resolve it quickly instead of letting it fester.
When Divorce Effects on Children Leads to the Illinois Department of Juvenile Justice
The ramifications of divorce can be numerous, especially if there are adolescent children involved. The psychological effects of divorce during the developmental years can often leave unresolved issues as your children approach their teens and even adulthood. As a parent how you handled the divorce process by ensuring your children had your support and understanding may have not been enough, especially when it comes to your adolescent engaging in risky behavior.
A teen and parent relatable webpage, created by undergraduate student, Ben Beary of Northern Illinois University, under the guidance of J. Elizabeth Miller, Ph.D., School of Family, Consumer and Nutrition Sciences, Northern Illinois University not only states the obvious, 50 percent of all marriages in the U.S. result in divorce. Also it reiterates that adolescents of divorced families are more likely to experience academic and psychological problems often leading to risky behavior outbreaks.
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