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Things to Consider when Getting Remarried at or near Retirement Age
Statistics show that gray divorce – divorce for people who are 50 years old or older – has doubled since 1990. 60 percent who will decide to give marriage a second try will not have any better luck than they did the first time.
Legal and financial advisers say there are steps that older couples can take to help their chances of having a successful marriage the second time around, including communication and a prenuptial agreement.
Especially of concern for people who are close to or already retired are finances. According to some studies, the majority of couples who are engaged fail to discuss their present and future financial situations with each other before they are married. Communication before marriage is essential. This can be especially critical for older people who have been saving all their lives for retirement, only to find out their new spouse has serious financial obligations they knew nothing about.
Signs Your Marriage May be in Trouble
Is your marriage in trouble? There are signs that marriage and family therapists say can be indicators that a marriage is headed for divorce court. They are also good indicators if you have been struggling with the decision to divorce of where exactly your marriage is at.
- Do you find yourself no longer consulting or valuing your spouse’s opinion or input? From serious topics, such as work issues, to plans for the weekend, making decisions on your own without even broaching the subject with your spouse, especially if this is something you always did in the past, is an indicator of a breakdown in communication.
- Another sign there could be serious problems is if you do not consider ever putting your spouse’s needs or wishes ahead of your own anymore. As one therapist put it, making yourself "king or queen of the castle" is a sign something is wrong.
The Benefits of an Illinois Prenuptial Agreement
Your wedding day is quickly approaching, but you are wondering if you and your fiancée will maintain composure while discussing your mutually agreed upon premarital agreement.
The Uniform Premarital Agreement Act (750 ILCS 10) was enacted in Illinois to provide financial and property protection for those entering marriage. The statute also lays the guidelines of the anticipated union. More often than not, financial protection is the primary reason couples enter into a prenup.
It sounds fairly simple: each individual legally seeks financial protection of real property or financial interests. The prenup is to be drafted in writing and signed by both parties involved. What else do you need to know?
Complexities of a Prior Marriage
If this is your second marriage and children from your prior marriage are involved, deciding to tie the knot without the benefit of a prenup is highly discouraged. Without the agreement in place, in the event one partner passes, all assets are transferred to the surviving spouse and, upon his or her death, the assets are assigned to the remaining step-children rather than a disportionate distribution of assets to all children involved. By drafting a prenup, this can be avoided by stipulating instructions for property or assets to be bequeathed to each spouse’s biological children.
The Hague Convention and Illinois Adoption
Deciding to adopt takes courage and unconditional love. Deciding to adopt internationally requires deep conviction, patience and, of course, unconditional love.
Setting the wheels in motion requires an experienced intercountry adoption attorney, an accredited adoption agency and a strong understanding of the Hague Convention.
As per the Intercountry Adoption, Bureau of Consular Affairs, U.S. Department of State, the Hague Convention on the Protection of Children and Co-operation in Respect of Intercountry Adoption Convention is an international agreement to safeguard intercountry adoptions. As concluded in 1993 in the Netherlands, the Convention established international standards of practices for all adoptions conducted between participating countries. Although intercountry adoptions can be initiated with countries not participating in the Hague Convention, those who choose to adopt from participating countries often receive greater protections during the adoption process.
New Study Says Daughters Do Not Cause Divorce
Past studies have suggested that couples who have daughters are more likely to divorce than couples who have sons. In many research circles, the belief was held that the daughters were actually causing the divorces because fathers preferred sons over daughters and therefore the husbands did not want to stay married to women who did not produce sons. This thought was only confirmed for those researchers when the results of a study from 2003 were published with the following data:
- Parents who have a daughter are five percent more likely to divorce than parents who have a son.
- Parents who have three daughters are ten percent more likely to divorce than parents who have three sons.
- Unmarried couples who are expecting a child are more likely to get married if the child is a boy.
Third Time a Charm? Confronting the Challenges of Consecutive Marriages
According to an article published by Psychology Today, second and third marriages often result in divorce. Past statistics support that while first marriages have a 50/50 chance of survival, second and third marriages often fail with rates of 67 to 73 percent, not providing much hope for eternal bliss.
The reasoning behind the statistics? Often, those entering a second marriage are "on the rebound," and those trying for the proverbial third time charm have failed to learn from past mistakes.
Cathy Meyer, a Certified Divorce Coach, Marriage Educator and contributor to About.com’s Divorce Support, a general online resource for divorce, provides further explanation of why these marriages fail.
Study Indicates Women with More Education than Husbands Not at Higher Risk of Divorce
Previous studies have indicated that if a wife has more education than her husband, the more likely she is to get divorced. But a more recent study has concluded that is no longer the case.
All of the prior research had been conducted prior to the 1980’s, when women typically were not equaling or surpassing the education level of men. However, the past few decades have seen quite a change in that trend, and today it is not uncommon for a woman to have reached a higher education level than her husband.
The researchers gathered their data from the National Survey of Family Growth and the Panel Study of Income Dynamics and examined marriages that occurred between 1950 and 2004. The study, entitled The Reversal of the Gender Gap in Education and Trends in Marital Dissolution, reveals that although marriages between equally educated spouses have remained the same, when there is a difference in education level, it is becoming more common for the wife to have the most education.
Domestic Violence Victims and Divorce
The domestic violence statistics in this country are staggering.
- In the U.S., more than three women are murdered every day by their husbands or significant other.
- The leading of cause of injury to women in this country is domestic violence. More women receive injuries from battering than they do from the total combined injuries from muggings, rapes and car accidents.
- One in four women will be a domestic violence victim sometime during their lifetime.
- There are 4 million physical assaults and rapes on women by their partners every year.
According to other statistics, when a battered wife makes the decision to leave her husband and either leaves and/or begins divorce proceedings, this can be a major instigator for domestic violence. There can be a significant escalation in incidents of violence after the wife leaves the abuser. More than three-fourths of emergency room visits by battered women occur after they leave their abuser. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence says that abused women who leave their husbands are at a 75 percent greater risk of serious injury or death than women who stay. A battered woman is at the greatest risk in the two weeks after she files for divorce.
Troubling Illinois Domestic Violence Victim Statistics
Any one instance of domestic abuse is one too many, and for those residing in Illinois, the Illinois Domestic Violence Act of 1986 (750 ILCS 60) provides the basis for protection. Generally, any instance of physical, emotional or interference with one’s personal liberty at the hand of a family or household member is a crime and will be prosecuted as such. Although often, domestic violence crimes go unreported.
The Chicago Foundation for Women is fighting to put an end to domestic violence through Illinois statute and education. If you are a victim of any type of domestic violence, the following information may prove helpful. You may also consider contacting an experienced Illinois family law attorney to discuss your legal rights under Illinois law.
Staggering Statistics
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Three or more women per day are killed by an intimate partner,
How Divorce Affects Children
Multiple studies have all concluded the same thing: divorce is bad for children. But that is not to say that parents should stay together "for the sake of the children" since other studies have shown that can be just as emotionally damaging to children as well.
However, being aware of how children are negatively affected by divorce may help parents navigate the child through the healing process with as little emotional impact as possible. The following are some of the more recent studies over the past several years that have revealed some of the negative effects of divorce on children:
- A study conducted last year by the University of Toronto found that children of divorced families begin smoking in much greater numbers than children with married parents. Women from divorced families were 39 more times more likely to begin smoking before they turned 18 years old and men were 48 percent more likely to begin smoking. There were 19,000 American people who participated in the survey.
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