Changing Views on Adultery and Divorce: Are We Ready?

 Posted on May 27,2014 in Divorce

Has the time come to change our western views on adultery and marriage? According to a recent article published by The Huffington Post, perhaps it has. No longer does the act of adultery result in the offending spouse strolling through town with a scarlet letter sewn to her bodice or does the adulterous male receive a good flogging but are we truly ready to alter our thought process when it comes to marital deception?

It is estimated that 30 to 60 percent of all couples in the United States will deal with some form of infidelity at one point in their marriage. David M. Buss and Todd K. Shackelford, University of Texas, Austin, co-researchers responsible for this data, also believe these numbers may be conservative since the act of adultery resulting in divorce can still taint the marital waters with a shade of crimson. Is Adultery Inevitable? Perhaps. As we evolve, marriage has also evolved. We are living longer than previous generations. As the vow states, "till death do us part", but will we remain satisfied with our partners on all levels, emotionally and physically? Or do we tread on dangerous ground resulting in adultery and possibly divorce? East Meets West?

Being married is highly vital to secure one's social status in Eastern culture. Love is not necessarily part of  the marital equation, especially when there is a booming adultery inspired industry. In some eastern cultures, marriage is viewed as vehicle to secure your social standing. Without this collaboration, you could experience difficulty with obtaining employment and the opportunity of climbing both the social and corporate ladder. Clearly a different viewpoint from traditional Western culture.

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What Parents Should Share with Children During a Divorce

 Posted on May 23,2014 in Divorce

No matter what age children are, divorce can cause them to experience a wide-range of emotions and fears about what will happen to them. Feelings of anger, confusion, sadness and guilt can weigh heavily as a child watches his family fall apart.

Parents can help transition children and ease the impact divorce can have. Here are steps that family counselors recommend parents share with their children:

• One of the most important things to stress to children is that the divorce is not their fault. Many children think that it is something lacking in them that causes their parents to argue and think if only they were better at school, better in sports, better behaved, etc. It’s also important for children to know that isn’t their responsibility to "fix" the marriage. Details of issues between the parents should not be shared with the children.

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Stopping Spousal Support Payments

 Posted on May 19,2014 in Divorce

Under the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, an ex-spouse may be entitled to spousal support. Under section 504 of the law, it states, ". . . the court may grant a temporary or permanent maintenance award for either spouse in amounts and for periods of time as the court deems just, without regard to marital misconduct, in gross or for fixed or indefinite periods of time. . ."

There are several factors a judge looks at in deciding whether or not to grant spousal support. Some of the criteria include the following:

• The length of the marriage;
• The present and future earning capacity of the spouses;
• The standard of living the parties had while married;
• The length of time it will take for the spouse seeking spousal support to obtain training and establish themselves professionally; and
• Any prior agreement the couple may have had.

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How to Agree to Disagree with Your Ex’s Parenting Style

 Posted on May 16,2014 in Divorce

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Can’t Agree on Property Division? Consider a Divorce Yard Sale

 Posted on May 12,2014 in Distribution of Assets

One of the most acrimonious parts of a divorce can be the negotiations regarding how the marital assets are going to be divided. Even the friendliest of divorces can suddenly turn nasty over a piece of who is going to get a certain piece of furniture, book collection, paintings, etc.

The NY Daily News recently reported a story about one divorcing couple who, after a few years of fighting over how several hundred dollars’ worth of items should be divided between the two of them, are holding a "divorce yard sale." The couple will be auctioning off furniture, cars, clothing, jewelry, paintings and antiques. Selling off items that are part of a marital estate and splitting the proceeds is not uncommon. It is not only for people who are involved in high-asset divorce cases. Any couple who has items that they jointly own may decide to sell those items if they cannot reach an agreement as to who should retain ownership of which items. Depending on the value and number of the items you are looking to sell, there are several options to getting the most amount of money for your items. If you have antiques to sell, then you should contact an antiques appraiser/dealer to find out what the worth of these items is. A dealer may also be able to help find a buyer for the items. It is also probably in your best interest to have the items appraised by more than one dealer. If you have many items to sell, contact estate sale company to coordinate the sale. These companies will help coordinate how your items are marketed, selling large ticket items separately and dividing the smaller items into "lots" which multiple items sold together. Consignment shops are a great place to sell items like clothing and smaller household items, such cookware and decorating items. If you would rather not have to deal with transporting these items to the shop, there are online sites where you can also post these items for sale. On Ebay.com, your item is posted for a limited amount of time and interested parties can bid on it, just like in an auction. At the end of the auction – typically 3 to 5 days – the highest bidder wins the item. All transactions are done online and delivery is done through shipping.

Locally, Craigslist.com allows  you to list the items you have for sale online and determine cost and delivery/pickup method. It’s similar to having an online yard sale by putting you in touch with people who may be interested in your property.

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Half of Internationally Adopted Children Born in Asia

 Posted on May 09,2014 in Children

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Protecting Your Marriage from Toxic In-Laws

 Posted on May 03,2014 in Children

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Keeping Discipline on an Even Keel: Finding a Balance for Adoptive Parents

 Posted on April 29,2014 in Children

Twisting and turning through the daily challenges of blending the lives of your adopted and biological children can certainly add a few new ones along the way. One being the subject of how to discipline and keep your household functioning on an even keel. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, finding a healthy balance is essential. For parents in this situation there is a certain disconnect when it comes to disciplining a blended family dynamic. There is a tendency for parents to hesitate to discipline an adopted child while setting fewer limitations on their biological offspring. This situation may also hinge on whether your adopted child has behavioral issues due to underlying issues. Each of your children are unique. Following these simple suggestions may define the house rules for all involved and keep you from second guessing your decision to choose adoption to grow your biological family. House Rules Involve your children in the rulemaking process. Provide them the opportunity to set a few rules or provide input to the rules you have established. Just remember to define rules according to the individual child's age. You may notice that since they have participated in the process, they will accept the new rules with less conflict. Consequences Just as you provided your children the opportunity to set the rules, give them the same opportunity to define the possible consequences when the rules are broken. Once again, consequences should be age appropriate. Consistency As parents, you also need to remember not to deviate from the rules or consequences. The rules are the rules, no ifs, ands or buts! Giving in every once in a while will only tempt your children to test the limits. Seems easy, right? Perhaps easier said than done. As the ruling executive branch of the household how you discipline is your choice but some of the following may assist with establishing a well-rounded discipline program. Time-out

One of the oldest and most effective discipline methods. Pick a specific time-out post for each child. When placing your child in his or her designed location set the length of the time-out based on the child's age plus one additional minute.

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Infidelity: A Leader in the Divorce Blame Game

 Posted on April 25,2014 in Uncategorized

Cheating, even the word brings to the forefront the realization of broken promises and deep emotional pain for the afflicted spouse. According to a recent Fox News article, the instances of married couples who cheat is on the rise. Fox also points out that although communication is the leading contributor to couples contacting a divorce attorney, infidelity ranks number two on the break-up countdown. So how does the experts define infidelity and will your cheating spouse's transgressions affect your plans to initiate divorce proceedings?

Defining Infidelity

With the ever expanding internet and social media accessibility, defining the act of infidelity has become a bit clouded. The Infidelity Facts website reports that the opportunity presents itself in at least 47 percent of all marriages. With sexting in the picture accompanied by remote sex sites, there is difficulty calculating a valid divorce infidelity connection. For those cheaters engaging in the physical act, the definition becomes clearer.

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New Study Links Social Media to Infidelity and Divorce

 Posted on April 23,2014 in Divorce

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