Recent Blog Posts
Cohabitation Before Marriage: Setting the Ground Rules
Cohabitation before marriage is becoming more common than in the past. Nearly 50 percent of all women have chosen cohabitation, often putting off marriage for up to two years, according to US News & World Report.
Studies have shown that for some, this living arrangement has proven to be a better option. Today Health reported that cohabiting couples appear happier and hold greater self-esteem than their married counterparts. Why? It is believed that cohabitation allows for increased independence and personal growth while in a committed relationship.
Of course in any relationship, ground rules are important. If you are opting to cohabitate, these quick tips may establish your personal boundaries, leading to a healthy and happier existence.
New Study Show Significant Increase in Shared Custody Awards over Past Two Decades
According to a new study, there is a growing trend of shared child custody, with fewer courts awarding sole custody of children to the mother.
The study was done by researchers from the University of Wisconsin–Madison. The team examined the data from Wisconsin family courts from 1988 until 2008. They looked at more than 10,000 divorce cases.
In the late 80’s and early 90’s, very few custody arrangements involved shared custody. Instead, the mother was typically awarded sole physical custody with the father awarded visitation, or parenting time.
However, the data revealed as time went on, there was a marked decrease in the amount of mothers who received sole custody and a significant increase in the amount of shared custody decisions made by judges. In the two decades of statistics the study looked at, the percentage of mothers awarded sole custody dropped from 80 percent to 42 percent.
Should You Go Back to Your Maiden Name after Divorce?
According to a study that spanned 35 years and was published in Social Behavior and Personality, just under 25 percent of women who married in the 1990’s kept their maiden name. In the 2000’s, this number leveled off at around 18 percent. More women in the Northeast (20 percent) keep their maiden names than women in the Midwest (4 percent).
When going through a divorce, women are given the option of keeping their married last name or going back to their maiden name. For women who are undecided at the time of the divorce, it’s important to make sure that it is clearly spelled out in the final divorce decree that they may do so in the future. Otherwise, it will be necessary to go back to court in order to have the divorce decree amended.
The Dreaded Divorce Papers: The Process for Serving Your Spouse in Illinois
For those residing in Illinois, divorce papers can either be served in person by a spouse, or through a process server. It is best to retain an experienced Illinois divorce attorney to assist you in determining the best option for your situation. Your attorney will request the filing of a Petition for Dissolution of Marriage or Precipice for Summons with the circuit court to begin the process.
Illinois state law, Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (750 ILCS 5), requires that any defendant of a lawsuit, which includes your spouse if you are the filing party, must be informed of any pending legal action. You must "serve" your spouse with a notice of divorce or service of process.
Illinois has requirements for this process and all must be satisfied before you can move forward with your divorce action. The following is a brief description of state requirements for informing your spouse of the divorce:
Divorce and Your Illinois Marital Home: Your Two Options Under State Law
Aside from the direct impact of divorce on your children and the emotional toll on your psyche, perhaps one of the most important questions that requires your immediate attention is, "What do we do about the house"?
If you reside in Illinois, the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (750 ILCS 5), states that there should be equitable distribution of all marital property in a divorce. Marital property covers everything from the marital home, finances, vehicles and recreational toys down to all household content acquired during the marriage. Although the decision regarding the family home may prove the most difficult.
Your divorce attorney will review your overall situation, including all variables playing into the decision over the home. Depending on your family needs, you and your spouse may decide that you will remain in the marital home with the children, but you will need to order an appraisal to determine your buy out cost to satisfy your spouse’s interest in the home. If on the other hand, you are open to placing the home on the market and once sold, you will be able to equally split the proceeds with your spouse.
Study Reveals Kids’ Interpersonal Skills and Math Scores Affected by Divorce
According to a study conducted at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, children whose parents are divorced may suffer from low math test scores. The study also revealed that divorce may hamper the development of interpersonal skills in children, as well as cause children to struggle with low self-esteem, sadness, loneliness and anxiety.
The results of the study indicate that children do not suffer with these issues before their parents’ divorce, despite what the home situation is. These problems tend to appear after the breakup has already occurred.
Author of the study, Hyun Sik Kim, studied data provided by the Early Childhood Longitudinal Study. The study tracked 3600 students from kindergarten through fifth grade, beginning in 2008.
Tips on Avoiding Financial Mistakes During a Divorce
Although going through a divorce can be a very emotional time, it’s important to keep divorce finances in mind in order to protect both your future and your children’s future. Financial analyst Suzanna de Baca offers these financial tips for people who are going through a divorce:
Do not give too much away in the divorce settlement.
Negotiating with your spouse over property and assets can turn acrimonious. The constant arguing and conflicts can be emotionally draining, causing many people to "surrender" and end up walking away with less than an equitable amount – just to stop the fighting. It’s important to protect your financial future, so de Baca suggest working with both your attorney and a financial planner to ensure you receive a settlement that is in your best interest.
New Trends in Adoption: For All the Right Reasons
According to a recent article by Joe DiDonato, Co-founder and Chairman of The Orphan Foundation, adoption is experiencing new found advancements driven by a completely new set of personal motivators. No longer does the word "adoption" equate to couples experiencing infertility or solidifying the blended step family. What the Foundation found by implementing a grant program shows a totally different aspect of the adoption process.
With the acceptance of grant proposals by the Foundation, what the Board has found is that adoption is now geared toward helping children worldwide, often those with special needs releasing the stereotypical notion of why families turn to adoption.
Listed below are two examples of the first three proposals submitted to the Foundation for grant consideration.
Changing Views on Adultery and Divorce: Are We Ready?
Has the time come to change our western views on adultery and marriage? According to a recent article published by The Huffington Post, perhaps it has. No longer does the act of adultery result in the offending spouse strolling through town with a scarlet letter sewn to her bodice or does the adulterous male receive a good flogging but are we truly ready to alter our thought process when it comes to marital deception?
It is estimated that 30 to 60 percent of all couples in the United States will deal with some form of infidelity at one point in their marriage. David M. Buss and Todd K. Shackelford, University of Texas, Austin, co-researchers responsible for this data, also believe these numbers may be conservative since the act of adultery resulting in divorce can still taint the marital waters with a shade of crimson. Is Adultery Inevitable? Perhaps. As we evolve, marriage has also evolved. We are living longer than previous generations. As the vow states, "till death do us part", but will we remain satisfied with our partners on all levels, emotionally and physically? Or do we tread on dangerous ground resulting in adultery and possibly divorce? East Meets West?Being married is highly vital to secure one's social status in Eastern culture. Love is not necessarily part of the marital equation, especially when there is a booming adultery inspired industry. In some eastern cultures, marriage is viewed as vehicle to secure your social standing. Without this collaboration, you could experience difficulty with obtaining employment and the opportunity of climbing both the social and corporate ladder. Clearly a different viewpoint from traditional Western culture.
What Parents Should Share with Children During a Divorce
No matter what age children are, divorce can cause them to experience a wide-range of emotions and fears about what will happen to them. Feelings of anger, confusion, sadness and guilt can weigh heavily as a child watches his family fall apart.
Parents can help transition children and ease the impact divorce can have. Here are steps that family counselors recommend parents share with their children:
- One of the most important things to stress to children is that the divorce is not their fault. Many children think that it is something lacking in them that causes their parents to argue and think if only they were better at school, better in sports, better behaved, etc. It’s also important for children to know that isn’t their responsibility to "fix" the marriage. Details of issues between the parents should not be shared with the children.