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Protecting Your Children During Divorce
The decision to divorce is not one that is made easily. This is especially true for those that have children who are sure to be impacted by the complex process. To bring awareness to the struggles that children face in divorce and to help parents better understand how they can improve their child’s ability to cope and adjust, The Child of Divorce—an advocacy group for children—has created and recently released an emotional but educational video. The topics discussed in the video are extremely relevant to many families and provide tips that parents can use during their divorce.
A Child’s View of Divorce
Parents are often—and understandably—shaken, troubled, and possibly even shocked by the changes that divorce brings. Children experience many of these very same emotions but in a very different way. They often feel that the very foundation of their world is crumbling. All that was once stable, safe, and secure is changing, and they have no control or say over the matter. Yet they still feel a strong attachment to both parents. When the parties become more focused on “winning,” and less on the emotions and well-being of their children, young ones can feel as though they are being asked to choose. No child should ever be placed in this position.
The Basics of Trusts in Estate Planning
While you may not know the specific requirements that make one valid in the eyes of the law, you are probably familiar the concept of a will. You most likely realize that most people use a will to specify how their assets will be handled after their death. Many individuals also utilize trusts in the process of estate planning. But, what exactly is a trust and how can they help with your estate planning needs?
What Is a Trust?
A trust, at its most basic, is a fiduciary relationship that allows a person—a trustor—to give the right to hold property or assets to another person—a trustee—for the benefit of a third party or parties. There are several types of trusts that are commonly used in estate planning, but each of them has a similar structure. Assets and property are typically placed in a trust to be distributed at a later date—or over time—to the trustor’s named beneficiaries.
Protecting Your Finances in Marriage: Beware of Gold Diggers
We have all heard the phrase “love is blind.” Many of us have even fallen victim to it ourselves. It is not uncommon for a person, when he or she first falls in love, tend to only see their partner’s good points while ignoring their faults and evident warning signs. This is likely to be a contributing factor to many divorces, especially for couples who marry after only knowing each other a short time.
Such is often the case for people who marry someone, only to find out later that their spouse is a “gold digger.” The word gold digger refers to a person who begins a romantic relationship or marries a partner because the partner is wealthy or well-connected. These relationships are also referred to as romance scams. Although it is common to think that only women are gold diggers, there are many cases in which men are just as guilty.
Know the Warning Signs
There are indications that may suggest the person who you are thinking of marrying is not who or what they say they are financially. Some of the red flags to look for include:
How to Include Your Caregiver in Your Will
As you age, it is not unreasonable for your needs to change. Depending on your physical and mental health, you may require more personal and medical care than you once did. While your family members and loved ones may be willing to help, they may not always be equipped or able to do so. In such cases, you may need to depend upon a caregiver with whom you have no family or personal relationship—at least at the beginning. Over time, you may become very close with your caregiver, possibly even close enough to consider including him or her in your will.
Legal Protections
In 2015, Illinois lawmakers amended to the Illinois Probate Act to provide additional protections for those who are under the care of non-family caregivers. The amendment created the presumption that any transfer of property exceeding $20,000 to an unrelated caregiver is fraudulent if the transfer is challenged. According to the law, the presumption of fraud would invalidate the will or trust making such a transfer.
Divorce and Moving Out of Illinois
A divorce can complete reshape a person’s life. In addition to possibly forcing you to live off a single, your divorce may also create concerns regarding child custody disputes, alimony payments, and the challenges of finding a new place to live.
Separated spouses may live in different states, or one spouse may wish to move out of state after the proceedings. If you or your former spouse plans to leave the state, there are several factors to consider. Depending on the circumstances, it may be necessary to postpone the move.
Moving Before and After Filing for Divorce
Before a person can file for divorce, he or she must meet certain residency requirements so the courts can establish appropriate jurisdiction. Residency requirements may vary from state to state. In Illinois, at least one spouse must be a resident for a minimum of 90 days before filing the petition for the dissolution of marriage.
Helping Your Children Cope With Divorce
The aftermath of a divorce is often the most difficult for the children involved in the process. Children of divorced parents tend to face extreme emotional conflict and upheaval. It is, therefore, imperative for parents to ensure that their children feel loved, supported, and heard. There are four key strategies to keep in mind when trying to help a child understand and navigate divorce.
Discuss Divorce Appropriately
Children need to feel included when major changes impact the family; it is completely unfair and counterproductive to keep them in the dark. If divorce is looming, it should be discussed with the children as soon as possible. Ideally, you will be able to find a quiet, familiar place where everyone can sit down and talk. Children do not need to know all the details involved with the pending divorce. However, they do need to know the basic facts of the situation and these facts should be presented to them in an age-appropriate manner.
Protecting the Rights of Fathers
For many fathers, it can be extremely difficult to maintain an active role in the lives of their children. This is especially true for a father who has gone through a divorce or breakup with his child’s mother. In many cases, it feels like the proverbial deck is stacked against a man when it comes to child custody decisions—now known as the allocation of parental responsibilities under Illinois law. Unfortunately, many such issues are based on the persistent public perception that men are less qualified to serve as primary—or even equal—caregivers for their children.
Anecdotal Examples
Recently, a discussion on the social media site Reddit addressed the various ways that men have experienced sexism in their lives. Many responses dealt with female-dominated work environments, physical abuse at the hands of female partners, and distrust from authorities when a man has been the victim of domestic violence. However, there was a substantial number of responses that described the experiences of men when they are seen in public with children—including their own.
Selecting an Executor for Your Estate
Estate planning is arguably one of the most important things a person will do during their entire life, and as such, everything matters. The slightest discrepancy may be attacked, and your wishes may not be honored if your estate is not set up and administered properly. Perhaps the most important choice you must make while estate planning is picking your executor, who can ensure that your wishes are carried out as you prefer and act on your behalf.
Responsibilities of an Executor
A person who has been named an executor in Illinois has 30 days following the death of the testator in which to either submit the will for probate or refuse the appointment. The responsibility of managing another’s estate is a heavy one, and, as such, it is important to pick the right person. The instinct for many is to choose their spouse, but this is not always the best choice, especially if you are of similar ages and he or she may be older and/or ill when the time comes for them to assume the role. Who you choose must be able to fulfill all of the duties of the executor including:
Understanding Cohabitation Agreements
There are many reasons that a couple may choose not to marry. Some have become disheartened with the increasing prevalence of divorce and, therefore, do not see the point in marrying. Others want to maintain their single status for political, religious, or personal reasons. Some same-sex couples live in parts of the country where same-sex marriage was not legal until very recently. Only the individuals in a relationship can decide if marriage is right for them, but it is important to know that there are steps unmarried couples can take to protect their rights and assets.
A Cohabitation Agreement Can Protect You in the Case of a Breakup
Common law marriages have not been legally recognized in Illinois since 1905. This means that two people can share their lives together, live in the same house, help each other pay bills, and raise children together without being considered legally married. Couples that live together but are not married do not have the same rights and protection under the law as those couples that are married. Those who split up after sharing a life together may find themselves in a legal mess. For example, if the couple has brought property, real estate, expensive home goods or vehicles together, it is difficult to establish how this property should be divided following a breakup.
Unique Concerns in Gray Divorces
Many people in struggling marriages wait until later in life to divorce. Couples consisting of partners aged 50 and above now account for a full quarter of all divorces in the United States. Divorce between older individuals has been nicknamed “gray divorce,” and has been on the rise in this country for a number of years.
Couples get divorced after many years of marriage for various reasons. Some do not want to upset the family balance while there are children living at home. Others wait for financial or career-oriented reasons. Still others may have tried for a long time to salvage the marriage and finally decide to call it quits. While a divorce is a life-changing event for individuals of any age, waiting until later in life to get a divorce comes with its own special challenges.
Factors to Consider When Divorcing After the Age of 50
If you are 50 or older and are thinking about a divorce, it is important to keep a few things in mind:
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